Mother’s Day Miracle

 have been so spoiled today-amazing breakfast, gifts, incredible dinner, and very little “mom-ing” throughout the day.  

The one part of the day I was dreading was church because, for the first time in a year and a half, we were going to take Matt to church.  One of our amazing respite providers usually comes and takes him so we can go since Matt won’t wear a mask.  But today, she had plans, so we didn’t have another option.  

As I was driving for a moment by myself, I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father if it was even OK to ask that he help us to have a good experience at church...that Matt would, somehow, by some miracle, sit still. I asked if it was OK to ask because it seemed a little far-fetched and unrealistic, given that the fulfillment of that "wish" would constitute something beyond my comprehension. Lately, the only times he is still and not frustrated are when he is doing a preferred activity like sitting in front of Alexa, playing Starfall, or interacting 1x1 reading a book, etc.  None of those things are very feasible at church, so I couldn’t see how this would possibly go well.  And I sometimes feel like, when I ask for something that specific, I am often disappointed because my prayer, though answered, may not look like I had hoped, so there is a bit of a spiritual battle that I go through to make sense of how it may have been answered in a less-obvious way.  Anyway, asking directly for something is a vulnerable exercise for me. 

But I did.  We got Matt ready for church and discovered that he literally had NO pants that fit him.  Like none.  Even the pants that he had worn when my parents were set apart a few weeks ago didn’t work.  Granted, I’m not sure we actually were able to button them then...but this time, there was no chance of buttoning them.  So I rubber-banded them like I did when I was prego.  He wore a suit jacket, so we covered up my failing. 

Right before we left the house, Matt went on one of his screaming tirades and my heart sank.  I almost decided not to go.  But we did and we walked into church, backpack loaded with snacks that don’t make a mess, puzzles, books, and his PODD book.  I think we were all nervous. 

During the opening song, Matt would yell “GOOD SONG!” In between each verse and at the conclusion.  He let out one tiny scream, but that was all.  He burped a couple of times, but not a thousand times in rapid succession,  And he did a GIANT no-holdiing-back yawn during the sacrament.  Other than that, he was SILENT.  Quiet as could be, not fidgeting at all.  He cuddled with Liam and held his hand.  He leaned on Todd and did puzzles quietly.  He ate his snacks and read his books.  Matt was incredible. 

My eyes may have filled up and even over-flowed a few times as I realize that my prayer had been answered in a very direct way--that Godis mindful of me and this situation we are in. It is so up and down--we’ve had a lot of uncertainty lately and so many changes that we are in the middle of in terms of Matt’s meds and, well, puberty.  It feels like we are in a hormonal washing machine getting all churned up and almost drowning some days.  But today was not one of those days.  Today was my miraculous Mother’s Day.