Big Steps, Big Faith

Awhile ago--and since I have no concept of time whatsoever I'm not even going to gander as to just how awhile ago it was--Todd and I started to suspect that there was something wrong with Matt's brain.  Lets be honest....I started to suspect and almost become obsessed with that idea. I wrote about this in a recent post (Lighted Path).

I took this info to my new doc and the minute I said "I'm open to medicating," he ordered another, lengthier, EEG.  He suggested we sedate Matt (normal recommendation), but Todd felt strongly that we not.  We learned through this process that the meds used to sedate kids, historically, have been in the same family as anti-epileptics and, therefore, could impact the results of the test.  So Todd suggested we needed to hold him down.  Finding a day when Todd could be there to hold him down was a feat in and of itself, but we managed to get it scheduled very quickly.  It was recommended that we bring him in sleep-deprived and, with the help of amazing friends, we managed to keep him up the ENTIRE night (we gifted him a single hour of sleep).  Everything went great and we managed to, miraculously, keep Matt entertained during this 6 hour process (and he even slept for part of it, which he has never done).  

I heard from the doctor today and we were told exactly what I expected to hear--that this EEG, just like all the others, was abnormal, showing issues in his left central temporal lobe.  He recommended that we start medication to prevent, reduce or stop any seizure Matt might be having.  The official diagnosis is epileptic disorder and the abnormalities in the EEG are patterns consistent with a kiddo having complex partial seizures.  

So there you have it.  This is a pretty big step for us.  It was a longer journey than it might have needed to be for some, but for me, it was a perfectly paved path because I feel TOTAL PEACE about starting these meds.  In fact, we started them tonight.  There are things you do with your kids that you are SURE about and things you just do to eliminate it as a possibility.  This is more on the sure side of that spectrum.  The part of me that has faith wants to say that this is something I am sure about--that I know God led us to this point and it is, in some way, going to be a big deal for Matt.  The fearful part of me wants to say nothing so that I have zero expectations and don't experience another disappointment.  But the deepest parts of my Mamma Gut are telling me that the best thing we can do for him is address what might be going on with his little brain, and this is the first real attempt at that.  So I'm optimistic.  :-)